June 26, 2007

Waiting for the bus is like standing in timeout. You don’t want to be there, but you are and there’s not shit you can do about it.

So you wait.

You try to be productive with this empty block of time and you try to think about shit that’s important to you – a script, grocery shopping, aborting the fetus – but you can’t because you’re too pissed off and frustrated. You’re just standing there, smelling the piss in the wind.

Sometimes I can really relate to Michael Douglas’s character in the movie Falling Down. Barely missing a bus that doesn’t come for another 30+ minutes will make you so mad that you do not give a shit about your life – some kind of fucked up super power for poor people.

Is this why the crime rate is higher in more impoverished areas?

A dorky-looking college couple pulls up next to me in a silver Honda Accord. The girl looks over at me and then pretends to look at something else. Then she quietly turns to her boyfriend and says something.

And I know what’s coming next.

One… two… three… four… five… the boyfriend lifts his eyes to look at me. Then he looks away. He says something to his girlfriend and she holds his hand to her face and kisses it. Then they start to make-out.

Did I, the lone whiteboy on Crenshaw, help a well-off couple gain a newfound appreciation for life? Do they appreciate their car and their AC a little more now? Does the guy not take his girlfriend’s AIDS-free pussy for granted now?

Will they try anal because of me?

Maybe I can be a motivational prop for white couples who are losing their way:

“No, honey. We can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I fucking said so, goddammit.”
“… is that a white guy standing on Crenshaw?”
Pause.
“I love you.”

Why do old, poor black guys still think they’re the shit? They’re hanging out at a fucking bus shelter at 12:30 in the afternoon, stinking like piss and cheese, and they’re talking about trying to get pussy tonight.

“I’mma go holla at Denise’s fat ass with them thick ol’ legs of hers.”
“I heard that.”

Mmm hmm. And what does Denise think of this?

Having more aluminum cans than your friend who’s checking every empty pack of cigarettes he sees does not make you a baller.

I imagine this is what the guy would say if I asked him if he’s homeless:

“Homeless? Nigga, I’m OG.”

Old and grizzled?

(And I wish I could end on that but I can’t because Equinox called while I was writing this and gave me the front desk position so I’m obligated to put that in here as well.)

Shit List:

June 1: Held it
June 2: Walgreen’s on the Miracle Mile
June 3: Best Buy Culver City
June 4: Gold's Gym Hollywood
June 5: Wood Ranch at the Grove
June 6: 8000 West Sunset Boulevard (Birthday shit)
June 7: 7-11 at the corner of San Vicente and Hauser
June 8: 7-11 at the corner of San Vicente and Hauser
June 9: No urge
June 10: No place to go
June 11: Gold’s Gym Hollywood
June 12: Chipotle at the Beverly Center
June 13: Carl’s Jr. on Fairfax and Olympic
June 14: McDonald’s on Vine and Sunset
June 15: No urge
June 16: Carl’s Jr. on Fairfax and Olympic
June 17: No urge
June 18: McDonald’s on Vine and Sunset
June 19: Chipotle at the Beverly Center
June 20: McDonald’s on Vine and Sunset
June 21: No urge
June 22: McDonald's on Vine and Sunset
June 23: Ralph’s on Pico and San Vicente
June 24: Carl’s Jr. on Fairfax and Olympic
June 25: McDonald's on Vine and Sunset
June 26: No urge