Saturday, February 14, 2009


Any girl who swears she is not a slut is a slut, a recovering slut, or is so afraid of being a slut that she keeps herself from engaging in any type of natural sexual activity that others could perceive as slutty.

When you're hooking up with a girl like this, you can see, feel, hear the battle. Making out. Her eyes shut, breath heavy. Hands on your arms, back. Squeezing, feeling...

And then she pulls away. Breathes, "We need to stop" or "Okay, okay..." followed by a shoulder pat. She turns her back to you to fall asleep or watch the movie. In a minute, your hands wander and it starts all over again.

Be patient. Know that she's going to stop you when her brain interrupts to tell her she's being a slut. If something feels good to a girl and it's not at least the third date, then that feeling is wrong. Slutty. You can thank society and its guy-pimp/girl-whore double standard for this.

You have to approach hooking up with these girls in waves. A wave starts with physical contact. It ends with her pushing you away. In order to succeed, you'll need to build. It's all about the progression. You have to keep chipping away at her until she's so overwhelmed with lust that she tells that bitchy little voice in her head to fuck off. You CANNOT start with breast or vaginal contact. You have to work your way up to that. Example:

Wave 1: get to her ear
Wave 2: get your knee between her legs
Wave 3: make a weak breast move
Wave 4: make a strong breast move

Try to combine established moves from previous waves with your next move (ear/knee to breast or ear/breast to vagina). This will serve to distract and arouse. Bombard her with pleasure.

Once you've worked your way up or just lost your fucking patience, hang back from a full makeout and tease your tongue over her lips. She'll lean forward with her mouth open and try to kiss you. Hold back. Tease more. She'll pull you in to her. This will lead to a hungry makeout. Use the intensity of this moment to your advantage and make a full on, go-for-broke desperation move (pussy rub, finger fuck). If you're meant to get laid, this should be her breaking point. If not, she'll push your hand away.

If this happens, accept your destiny and excuse yourself to her bathroom. Steal a wad of toilet paper.

You'll be jacking off into it later.


Anonymous said...

Some good advice. :)

Anonymous said...

Hahaha good shit, love the 'waves'

Anonymous said...

So true.

Anonymous said...

You're on top of your game in this piece of writing.

Anonymous said...

You are one smart motherfucker.

Anonymous said...

Fuck screenwriting... you need to put all your thoughts down in a book. That motherfucker would sell! You're the next Tucker Max.

Anonymous said...

google venusian arts. check out the forums. theres a whole science behind the principal that you so clearly described.

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