Saturday, August 23, 2008

Arrested Development

There's this cunt on Facebook that I went to college with. She made a status update the other day, misspelling a word with an E when she should've used an I.

She teaches AP English.

Naturally, I called her on it because that's how I am. She replied:

"too bad either way is right...google both...they both come up as correct. its like spelling blond or blonde or even better...grey or gray...thanks though for the tip...riiiiiiiight"

And then she replied again (five minutes later):

"yep...and i see you work at a gym in hollywood"

I'm 25 and I work a 16-year-old's job. Not because I can't do better, but because it gives me a chance to do what I want to really do, what I came out to LA for in the first place. Unfortunately, people often mistake this for a case of arrested development. Jeff's afraid to grow up. Jeff's afraid to get a REAL job.

I'm a gym employee. Not someone chasing his dreams.

This is what I replied with:

One way is more correct than the other. Also, blond/blonde has gender connotations. As far as my employment goes, sometimes you make sacrifices to go after what you really want. I'd say it's a lot harder to work my shit job than take the easy road and teach English in bumfuck Kentucky. But hey, that's you. By the way, you should be ashamed a gym employee had to correct you.

She deleted me from her friends list.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fuck yeah! Tell her off! This is the Jeff I love!

richelle said...

hahaha so good.

dtet said...

reminds me of my sociology teacher spelling caregiving, cargiving and intelligent, entelligent. after correcting her, i got, einstein was a genius and couldnt spell. to which i replied he also didnt do soc.

mom said...

Shit. She wasn't a friend anyway, so no big loss there. Dig a hole and throw dirt on her, I say. Cargiving. Ha ha ha. I want a new car. I think I'll sign up for that Sociology class.

Ronnie Pudding said...

The wanton abuse/misuse of ellipses (or “the devil’s eyebrows” as I like to call ‘em) in her response adds an extra layer of delicious irony. Or perhaps those are meant to indicate omissions? In any event, you’ve still got another decade before the service industry McJob becomes creepy. Take an acting/improv class and you’re just the average 25-year-old in the 323.

Anonymous said...

ROFLS. Good work Jeff. It's funny how such an obvious bum (from her perspective) has to improve an English teacher...on her English. You've got a year on me but I'm in a similar shit position. However I am in no way chasing my dreams. I need to get on that.

Anonymous said...

And why is it that Facebook defines and dictates everybodies social lives? Anything happens in somebody's life and it is on there. Someone gets a new girlfriend, "ooh lets hit the in a relationship with... button". Having a girlfriend and being on Facebook at the same time can be a nightmare. E-stalkers.

mom said...

I have spent my entire life wiping the butts of poor spellers. I am always amazed that people cannot spell, and the worst offenders are the so-called educators. It just underscores that old saying: "Those who can, do; those who can't teach." Dtet's soc teacher is a perfect example. Notice how she puts herself in the genius class. Ha ha ha ha. Now, that's a whole other topic.

mom said...

I have spent my entire life wiping the butts of poor spellers. I am always amazed that people cannot spell, and the worst offenders are the so-called educators. It just underscores that old saying: "Those who can, do; those who can't teach." Dtet's soc teacher is a perfect example. Notice how she puts herself in the genius class. Ha ha ha ha. Now, that's a whole other topic.

dtet said...

my favorite is when teachers spell lose, "loose." i always make it a point to cross it out on a test when i see it.

James Martin said...

ahh! fucking hilarious man. i hate people like that as well. when you get a chance, check out the block i've been writing while here in italy. hope everything's going well!