Monday, August 11, 2008

SoCal Local checklist

-- Wide-brimmed hat, either backwards or forwards
-- Black, oversized Stars and Straps t-shirt or a wifebeater or a variation thereof
-- Gauged piercings
-- Soul patch or a goatee
-- Tattooed forearms that look like an Ed Hardy shirt
-- False sense of thuggishness
-- Zero brainpower
-- Angels fan

Basically any X Games-looking motherfucker that models himself after Travis Barker or Vanilla Ice 2.0.

And yes, I did get kicked out of a bar in Newport Beach last night for arguing with these jokers. I guess I wasn't welcome because they didn't recognize me from high school or something.

Maybe they would've let me stay if I landed a kickflip.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You weren't taking a leaf out of my book and arguing the case of Goldeneye now were you?

Jeff said...

Unfortunately, no. I made the mistake of hollering at one of their girls and then accidentally stepped on a pair of new Vans. They knew the bouncer, yada yada yada, and I ended up smoking a bowl on the beach.

Anonymous said...

Great post! I agee.

Anonymous said...

Great post! I agee.