Sunday, August 9, 2009

Bar Rule

Never try to dance with a girl you don't want to be rejected by. Obviously you don't want to be rejected by any girls, but this applies to girls that can hurt your self-esteem. Hot girls? Okay. Fine. You probably didn't have a shot with them anyway. But average chicks? Chubby chicks? No no no. Do not dance with them unless they give you an in. Because in the bar dynamic, they rule. Girls come out with the sole intention of rejecting guys. Any girl that you could meet in a grocery store suddenly becomes Wonder Woman in the bar setting. Every guy is on the lookout for pussy and every girl knows this. Suddenly their vaginas become diamond-encrusted and they're the hottest thing on the antique block. DO NOT FEED THEIR EGOS! I don't care how desperate you are. Try to engage them with an accidental bump into:

"Oops. Sorry. What's your name?"

Be as subtle as possible. Look for signals. NEVER GO IN COLD! It's a death wish even Bronson couldn't handle. Whether it be prolonged eye contact or a half-smile, wait for the girl to contact you. Otherwise it's fuel for her tank.

And I wrote this in a generic vodka-fueled, less-than-four minutes. WHAT!


Anonymous said...

I disagree. Us white dudes need to act more like black dudes. A black dude will walk in a bar and ask every motherfucking female (whether she is 100lbs to 600lbs, and eventually one nasty slut will reply to them. Black dudes don't care about rejection, they get used to it. Black dudes are far more rejected than white dudes, simply because they will touch, grop, and harass every white female in the bar. A black dude is always going to be leaving the bar with some pussy (whether that pussy has AIDS or not who knows). And some people wonder why black dudes have the highest percentage of AIDS? How can people be so dumb. Anyways, if we approached every female in the building we would have that kind of self-esteem they do... because they never go home alone. Us white dudes need to be more like black dudes and act like monkeys. We need to forget about our self esteem, and all that bullshit. We need to go through the bar like a black dude or monkey and have one objective in mind, and that's asking everyone with a white pussy in the bar if they want to fuck.

Is it a coincidence that the largest group of people who are single are black females?

Anonymous said...

hahaha great post, Anonymous. It's about time someone has started telling the truth.

Anonymous said...

Great post, motherfucker.

Anonymous said...

Interesting post... :=)

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