Monday, November 12, 2007

Bad Days

Woke up with gum in my hair...
Do you ever have those days where you secretly hope more bad shit happens to you so you can keep feeling sorry for yourself? Where you feel like you’ve put up with so much shit, why not just pour it on? And you can’t tell anybody the specifics because, to them, it won’t mean a fucking thing. They’ll just nod their heads and feign sympathy and say things like “That sucks” or “I understand”, all the while thinking you’re a diva or drama queen or crybaby or all three and that you need to get a fucking grip and stop being so sensitive. Telling someone about your bad day is like showing a stranger a picture of your baby. He doesn’t give a fuck, but he’ll pretend to.

No one can fully appreciate and comprehend the fucked-uppedness of your bad day but you. That’s because bad days are usually comprised of a series of small, shitty, inconsequential events that pile up and up and up. When you try to describe a bad day, things come across as mundane and disjointed – which is what bad days typically are. You can’t make a person feel your pain when you’re boring them with “and then’s”. Us bad-day-havers know this, yet we continue to dictate.

On a bad day, every “what’s up” and “how are you?” is an opportunity for sympathy. Sympathy, no matter how fake and phoned-in, is good because it’s like saying, “Life sucks. I’m on your side.” It’s your tenth-grade friend telling you he has your back, even though he’ll inevitably end up watching you get your ass kicked from the sidelines. But fuck it. Oftentimes the right words are enough to placate.

Until somebody doesn’t ask what happened:

“Hi, how are you today?”
“Not good.”
“Oh… paper or plastic?”

Don’t tell me you don’t feel disappointed when somebody doesn’t invite you to elaborate on your pity-party. It sucks when they don’t ask you what happened, doesn’t it? It adds to your bad day. That’s because you’re the center of the universe and, therefore, everyone must give a fuck about you.

“You don’t want to know what happened? Fuck you. I hate you. Double those coupons.”

If you’re the person who doesn’t give a fuck, you should always ask what happened. It’s good etiquette – akin to waiting for everyone’s food to arrive or pulling out when you’re not wearing protection. If a few more people would ask “what happened?” (and maybe toss a little “aww” before it – “aww, what happened?”) there would be less violence.

Having a bad day is like the opposite of having HIV: everyone must know. We talk ears off about our bad days because it feels good to vent, to purge, regardless of whether or not people are listening (they’re not). So great are our egos and the need to tell people about our bad days that we sometimes hire a professional “what happened?/how are you?” asker. These people are called therapists and they make a killing off our misery. Never have nods and brow-furrows generated so much money. Eliminate bad days and therapists go the way of the stegosaurus.

Sometimes bad days are comprised of one ultra-shitty event:

“We’re going to Auschwitz.”

People want to know what happens on single-event bad days. Not because they care – although they may think they do – but because it gives them something to talk about, something to do other than Myspace surveys. Our days are populated with inane chatter and meaningless conversation. This gives people a podium, a chance to be heard. A chance to be profound. They get to be storytellers. They get to recount, gesticulate, embellish.

“Uh uh. It was six million.”

We are wielders of tragedies, and often bring up particularly horrible single-event bad days long after they’ve happened if we feel that people are neglecting us and forgetting how special we are.

“Matt just got a new job!”
“Cool. Hey, remember when my mom died?”

Single-event bad days lead to suicide. Multiple-event bad days lead to homicide. The national suicide rate is higher than the national homicide rate.

That doesn’t sound right. Fucking teenagers.


SK said...

Awww, tell me about your bad day.

I disagree with the reviews of your Halloween story. I think that was not your best work. It was good and an interesting writing, but not your best (and I've read them all). I also worry that this is just the beginning of your descent into drug and alcohol abuse, especially with all of your friends thinking it's cool. You are not in high school, or college, anymore and if you ever want to be taken seriously as a writer, I suggest that you regain your focus on what your goals and dreams are; what you have already put so much effort into and what brought you out to California in the first place. I think you have talent and know it would be a waste if your life took a wrong turn- one you have the maturity to avoid. Simply put, you are better than that. Take care.

Jeff said...

Descent into drug and alcohol abuse? Why, because I went out and got drunk at Halloween party? I appreciate your concern, but I've lost anything but my focus. If anything I'm working even harder. It's easy to go out and get caught up in all of that party bullshit. If only you knew how much time I spend staring at the blinking cursor.

Thanks for reading, though.

Anonymous said...

This truly was a rant more than a blog post... just when I thought you'd offered your final simile or metaphor for what having a bad day is like, BAM, another one!

Blog more... with details and stories... fun as it is to read your musings on having a bad day... I'll bet it was more fun for you to write it.

Lauren said...

arn't blogs supposed to be for ranting? Hell, the only time I ever really write it when I'm pissed about something.

I love you Dimples, and I think you know why.

Anonymous said...

Good post.

People can relate to it, or at least I can. It was fun to read and at the same time you feel the pain. Some days you just want to fuckin' hit somebody.